Left. Up. Right. Down.

Nov. 3rd, 2008

9:18 PM

So I don't use this any more.
I don't want to talk about what's been happening in my life, it's far too complicated, it was great, it went downhill really fast, + now it's back to absolutely amazing. Incredible, even. I haven't been so happy in a good number of years.
(basic run down: I had a baby girl, Hanne Alice May Louise, who is 4 months old on the 10th. She's amazing, well ahead on all of her milestones, buying a house currently, no longer with Tom, have an amazing, very, very casual thing going with someone who is just lovely, blah blah blah blah blah)
There's only one thing ruining my amazing time.
+ I feel really, really terrible for feeling so terrible because of it.
The boy I've always believed I would marry is engaged.
Even when Tom + I were like, 'Yep, gonna get married...', I must say, my heart was never 100% behind it. 20% went to marrying him, 80% went to the other one. BUT NOW HE'S ENGAGED.
He got along amazingly with my family, my friends loved him, I thought he was great, we could talk for hours, he thought I was beautiful even first thing in the morning, I never had to explain myself to him, he is, eugh, everything.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I have loved him since the very first time we talked, I DIDN'T GO TO CONVERGE JUST SO THAT I COULD SEE HIM, THAT WAS A BIG DEAL. Fuck. I don't know what to think or feel right now. He's one of my very best friends. What do I do.
His fiancee is amazing, gosh, she is so amazing. She is lovely. She is beyond lovely.
She is wonderful. But. But he's MINE. + I don't know what to do with all these feelings.
I guess I just need this to be out there. Maybe he'll find it. I don't know.
I'll feel better in the morning.
Right?

Mood: uncomfortable

Oct. 16th, 2006

12:42 PM

MELBOURNE, HERE I COME.

... Wednesday night/Thursday morning.

Anastasia- I owe you a call.
Finding a job- I owe you a thought.
Lunch- you owe me.

Music:The Abandonment

Aug. 7th, 2006

5:56 PM

( Birthdayz. )

Music:The Red Chord

Jul. 27th, 2006

7:56 PM

( Boredom. )

Music:Heavy Heavy Low Low

Nov. 18th, 2005

7:20 PM

So much cocaine is being used in London that traces of the white powdered narcotic can be detected in the River Thames, the Sunday Telegraph newspaper said. Citing scientific research which it had commissioned, it said an estimated two kilogrammes of cocaine, or 80,000 lines, spill into the river every day after it has passed through users' bodies and sewage treatment plants.

It extrapolated that 150,000 lines of the illegal drug are snorted in the British capital every day, or 15 times higher than the official figure given by the Home Office.

"Because of the long-term complications of cocaine use, we are looking at a healthcare time bomb," clinical toxologist John Henry was quoted as saying.

Cocaine use has been in the headlines in Britain after fuzzy images of supermodel Kate Moss apparently enjoying some lines in a London recording studio were published in a tabloid newspaper.

She soon went into detox after losing some of her most lucrative contracts, but is already making a comeback, appearing Sunday on the front page of several newspapers- including the Sunday Telegraph.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com